I find one, a mother. Mother of three children, 25, 22 and 15. Thats right the youngest child is at "that age" and with the others grown but not completely out of their mothers care "are they ever?" she quips. I wonder what it's like still having to pay school fees, make lunch, wash clothes, drive to Saturday sport, cook dinner and then at the end of day get meet with a grunt, a smart ass comment, serious attitude or complaints about everything and anything.
I trap the mother down, she's busy, phone ringing, in the kitchen, off for a walk and lunch with friends later...
I ask "What's it like being a mother of a 15 year old boy?"
Mother "I've only got 10 minutes; well the teachers just rung because he's not doing his home work, it's so frustrating that he doesn't want help, he thinks he knows everything."
It seems the change from being a young boy to a teenager has occured and it happened all "in the last 6 months" You notice the "lack of touching" and then it starts to "feel like he really doesn't want to be in the same room as you" It becomes a more "selfish kind of relationship, when he wants something, he'll grease up to you but as soon as it's done he is gone again." "I find it so frustrating." Talking to someone who is giving you no emotional input or any input into the conversation.
Do you still love him?
Her eyes light up, a wild woman is in the kitchen "I'd stab someone for him" she motions the large knife she's been cutting with into the air.
Do know what goes on in his head?
A flat out response of "No" comes back at me. "I don't know what's going on in his head, his interests are changing, not playing much x-box anymore becoming more interested in girls."
It seems to be that although it is frustrating there is no anger towards the situation, "being a mother is different at different stages"
There was an article in the age a week back titled "Mind the gap" by Holly Brubach and it stated that "Teenage boys are not feigning boredom. The adolescent male brain is numb to any stimulus that isn't cranked to the max"
Mother - "It almost needs a bomb to go off to get their attention"
This interview was constructed while she fried bacon up for her son's big Saturday post-sport breakfast.
Now over to the father...
What's it like being the father of 15 year old boy?
He responds instantly "very frustrating because they don't communicate, you just can't get any conversation out of him." And because he doesn't engage with conversation anymore to talk to him you have to sit him down and then he acts confrontational. The response is usually "You wouldn't understand, he says it all the time, about anything he doesn't want to talk about, especially homework"
Do you think if your approach to talking to him was more outrageous or explosive he might respond?
"Competing against a kid playing a war video game, at the same time listening to a cd or ipod and watching a video clip of south park on his laptop all at the same time, you've got no hope"
How does he behave?
"He shuts himself away from the family. He can't organise himself"
Do you think you know what's going on in his mind?
"Well no, you know that your not even close, you'd only be fooling yourself if you did"
And now finally an interview with the 15 year old boy himself. He's just come back from basketball and they have a new coach, he's American, he's dad played in the ABL "He's fucking amazing" The boys in a good mood, he's eating the bacon sandwich made with white bread toasted and bbq sauce.
Whats your attitude towards girls?
"There the goal, you could say, It's what your heading for, but it's not a competition"
He's going out tomorrow with a girl he asked out and they're both taking friends. "The bro code" he explains referencing American sit com shows like 'how i meet your mother'"the wing man, the guy who helps you go out with someone."
I wonder if he notices the change in himself as his parents did, that all of a sudden his interest had shifted.
"One day you start talking to them (girls) more, hanging out with them more, their the gist of the talk at school."
The list of things of importance in your life?
"girls, friends, facebook, x box, television, school"
What do you think about your family?
"Your not really thinking about your family when your 15 parents are trying to do the right thing but you don't want to do the right thing."
What's the worst things boys say about girls at school?
"whale, fat, ugly, rank, disgusting"
Do you know any Emos?
"Don't know any emo's at school. They don't want to be seen, so they dont get seen, hang in library, vis -com area, just don't see them."
Whats a word you use all the time to put someone down?
"Gimp"
It was fabulous how both parents didn't even hesitate when asked if they knew what's going on in their sons head. Perhaps if they come and see the show they might get an insight into the minds of 15 year olds through Claryssa and Sebastian, whether that'll really help though...
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